Top Ten Volunteer Positions Off Limit for Complaints

1. The Coach

Ahhh, yes, the volunteer coach for whatever meager group has asked, be it church, school, or the recreation department. Unless you want to slap on a whistle and start texting people about practices and rescheduled games, swallow and release all hot air internally.

2. The PTA

Admittedly, I am a bit biased since I am admittedly not such a great president but I was not vying for this position. Remember that. You are not allowed to text or Facebook message any suggestions deliberately or passive aggressively, unless you are involved in implementation.

3. Sunday School Teachers

Now, as much as you may like to make harmless even pious suggestions, you are not allowed. You drop your children off and you pick them up. We should only offer to substitute or give money, anything for an hour of freedom on a Sunday morning.

4. The Fundraiser

This is a tricky one. Those who don’t have the good sense to turn down the request to raise funds don’t always have my sympathy. However, those who raise funds for needy children are acceptable.

5. The Board Member

This person has taken volunteering to a new level. A long term commitment to volunteering that involves criminal background checks and references. Not a word. Just a smile and a friendly nod or wave.

6. The Politician

Now protection for this classification travels with a grain of salt, but I will say that at least those in public service are committed to change even though we may disagree with their direction.

7. The New Mother

This person should not be asked for any favors or participation in community events, particularly house tours within a few weeks of giving birth. I realize this is not actually complaining but near harassment is a malicious cousin in my mind.

8. Anyone That Works With Small Children

This blanket protection is to ensure I leave out no innocent soul, victim really, that offers blood sweat and tears during Vacation Bible School or other like activities that sneaky parents like myself adore.

9. The Camp Counselor

Oh yes, not only is this a big no no since the person that has agreed to monitor your child is paid peanuts, but also he or she is likely a child themselves.

10. The Grandparents

Though I personally break this rule quite often, I am feeling remorseful and grandiose in this moment. They try, I know they do and though they are not perfect, let’s face it, they are available free of charge.