It’s almost Mother’s Day… Here’s to the moms wearing their clothes from yesterday.

Here’s to the moms who wallow on couches strewn with goldfish and drown in sweaty boys and hands sticky from daddy’s pancakes.

Here’s to the moms wondering how in the Hell anything is supposed to happen on a holiday for mothers that doesn’t actually require them to plan, cook, shop, orchestrate.

Here’s to the moms thinking that motherhood has sucked them dry of motivation and accomplishment.

Here’s to the moms counting the days until school gets out and feeling frightened rather than excited.

Here’s to the moms who made hotdogs and tater tots for dinner and felt quite smug with the planning.

Here’s to the moms who are scrolling through Facebook and feeling a teensy bit jealous of the moms who got their shit together and escaped for the weekend.

Here’s to the moms who forego tennis and sunshine for the comfort of AC, closed blinds, and crime shows.

Here’s to the moms who believe in keeping people hydrated no matter the liquid.

Here’s to the moms who lectured their children on the importance of gifts like cash and gift cards rather than crappy art projects.

Here’s to the moms who wonder if it would be bad if they skipped church and made everyone else go.

Here’s to the moms who have let go of being perfect in order to embrace the chaos of their own imperfect lives.