1. Inclusive resorts or Disney cruise.

Yes, folks pointed out these options to me, but setting up a go fund me page seems a little bit tacky for entertainment respite reasons.

2. Travel with lots of families.

Built in friends would mean my kids were outside without me and not arguing over their grandparent’s one computer.

3. Me being lazy.

I just want to be lazy. Like, sit by the pool, drink a coke, settle in and work on my book, watch Dateline, or take a shower and lie in bed watching Dateline.

4. Relinquishing my role as catalyst for fun.

If I do nothing, everyone does nothing. Can’t they make plans and scurry to the beach or go fishing without me hinting, suggesting, packing a cooler, putting Amos in the car seat on the golf cart?

5. A nanny.

This is a bare necessity for Amos. He needs someone to pick him up at 9am and bring him home at 5pm. Need may be a stretch but let me dream.

6. Children with normal taste buds.

Takeout from the Thai restaurant, yummy blackened fish, awesome salads with lemon tahini all would be met with delight rather than gagging and dry heaving at the mere suggestion.

7. Someone to shave my legs.

A small thing, but so big when I’m to wander the island with dark unattractive stubble.

8. Lotion that doesn’t smell like chocolate.

This is achievable if I would walk up to CVS, but remember, I’m lazy. I’m also taken with the fact that all lotion in my parents’ house has cocoa as a main ingredient though my mother assures me it’s coconut. Ummm, no. I smell like a Hershey bar.

9. Solitude.

I know, I would miss them, I’m so blessed, it’s so fun, I’ll miss these days, but in the here and now, I would be blissfully all alone.

10. Me and my mom.

That may be better than being all alone as she loves her role as my personal assistant and we could run errands together.