I am not that old, just 41, but it has been a hard ten years. Four children and the baggage that clings to them is lie a heavy ball and chain attached to me and lack of sleep, worry, and total havoc has clearly had a toll on me. Just listen to these creative ways I’ve been told I look old.

1. Are you his grandma? My oldest was a baby and I was still a baby then, just a mere thirty. Well, there goes my excuse of the past ten years and I think my reply was something about excessive sun damage.

2. Do you still have menstrual cycles? I’ll be damned though at least that one was at the doctor. Odd though considering my two year old son rolling around on the floor.

3. Are you carrying your grandchild? That one is not even mine but a question so horrific and asked to a dear friend in her thirties and so, I just had to share.

4. Botox could get rid of all of that. That being a perfectly manicured hand waving towards my entire, evidently very wrinkled, face.

5. Is he your first child? Just for the record, I invented passive aggressive. This seemingly innocuous question did not fool me. I recognized the underhanded accusation: I look like a hovering old first time mom when I scurry behind my two year old.

6. Giving me the senior discount without even a question. I’ll take it, thank you very much.

I’m still pondering the whole Botox thing but worried my eyes may droop and then I’ll look old and drunk.