I nag and bewail my children and then I remember that the beauty of messy chaos hides in the insignificant nonsense of the little forgetful minds.

I tidy and lament discarded blankets and hot cocoa cups and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in fleece polka dots and sticky marshmallow remnants.

I do too much in the name of fun and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in doing not much of anything or sitting around your kitchen table with friends, slurping vegetable beef soup and gnawing celery from a Bloody Mary.

I frown and fight jealousy as I see the photos of places I want to take my children and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in our trips to Rose’s and lunch at Pizza Hut with another family and our unruly children.

I worry about Amos learning to speak or going to kindergarten, and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in the paths that we have not yet traveled.

I drown in the duties of motherhood and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in the gift of children that have made my life so very wonderful.

I dread school mornings and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in my coffee that is never hot, post it notes that say I love you, and parents that remember to smile before dawn.

I struggle to be a wife, a mom, a daughter and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in the relationships that give abundant love so freely.

I make and scrutinize detailed plans for the week, the month, the summer, next year and then I remember the beauty of messy chaos hides in the wisdom that today is the day, not tomorrow.