Ten Struggles of A Special Needs Mama
1. My child is in diapers.
Nobody goes to school in diapers, people say laughingly, but my son does. It’s not too bad except there’s no place to change him except the floor of a bathroom. Changing tables are meant for babies, not long limbed children.
2. My child doesn’t sit still in restaurants.
Nope, he wanders and explores and likely will come over to investigate your table; autism doesn’t play by the rules of etiquette.
3. Getting a sitter is not so easy.
To find the right person is really tough and sometimes, it’s just not worth it.
4. The world measures success in terms of ability.
All my life I have been pushed to achieve and now, it’s awfully hard to readjust the expectations that the world holds dear. You see, my heart hold a boy named Amos most dear.
5. I worry.
To have a child that is not verbal limits your sense of keeping that child safe. Left in the hands of others means potential danger, not all teachers are as wonderful as Amos’s.
6. End of grade testing feels mean.
Before Amos, I didn’t know kids with special needs took EOG’s. Third grade, fifth grade, eighth grade, reading, math, and science. No one is exempt unless quite ill and all are required to read a passage and answer questions. ALL.
7. The future is a black hole.
An abyss of the unknown that beckons fear and hope and defeat and monstrous effort.
8. No pity allowed.
Before Amos, pity was the reaction when I spotted a special needs family. I share our hardship and joy, so that you will know a different life is not a sorrowful one.
9. Include us.
Children that have special needs aren’t always the most coveted playmates, but they need friends and their mamas need love.
10. We can learn.
Ask questions, take cues, listen, be honest, and put ourselves in another’s shoes. Kindness, joy, love, we want to share the fruits of an unplanned life intentionally lived.