1. Last day of school picture is terrible.

No new anything and people fighting while using creative renditions of the f word.

2. I’m cursing at the children.

FYI, I don’t use the f word though.

3. No one has bathed in a good five days.

Wet wipes are suffice.

4. I woke up and did not pack one frickin’ lunchbox.

Sunscreen application has replaced that duty.

5. My healthy eating regimen lasted 12 hours.

It began after Pizza Inn last night and ended over grits and Bojangles sweet tea for breakfast.

6. I had an overpriced shrimp burger.

Yep, nothing like an $8 shrimp burger from Big Oak Drive In.

7. Laundry has dissipated.

There is no reason to wash towels or bathing suits after one use.

8. I made the beds.

I start off strong and then, its all downhill from there. Sand in your sheets builds character.

9. I’m buying alcohol.

Yep, a nice bottle of white wine that I put in the freezer to chill and remembered this morning.

10. I’m giving myself a pep talk to go to the grocery store.

We’ve eaten out three meals in a row and I have run out of my stockpile of happy meal milk for cereal.