School Has Been Out Sixteen Hours And Counting

School Has Been Out Sixteen Hours And Counting

Who is counting? Um, me. Yep, we have had three award ceremonies, three teacher gifts, end of year teacher lunch, blah blah blah. Why am I reciting this to you? How annoying, it’s not like anyone else has been doing anything differently. Half-ass, crappy, guilt laden with the Spree candy your teacher requested and you forgot and sheepish that you brought no camera (phone died). Anyways, sixteen hours and counting…

We have been to the pool. Well, Amos got wet twice, ate a bag of cookies, circled like a hungry shark, cried fifteen minutes and went back to sitting in the car. Thank you to my friends who acted like that was so logical. We have been to Dairy Queen for one meal and the gas station for the other (donut kiosk). I have packed us for the beach where we will be the next ten days. One person has showered. Sixteen hours and counting…..

I have scheduled Amos’ surgery for July 19th and sent a desperate email to a fun babysitter for my other people. I have put tons of laundry away and threatened to beat my children. I have yelled at my husband for putting his shoe covered in cat poo on the counter as I dry heaved and tried to make a double strength cup of Instant coffee (Maxwell House). Sixteen hours and counting….

I have been successful in tricking my three oldest children with a game called Points where each day you start with points and can earn based on what you do. They have sorted socks, brushed and flossed their teeth, read books, and left me alone. Ignorance is bliss and surely I can run this guise a bit longer. Eight documented cavities and one warning for speeding. Sixteen hours and counting….

I have won a bet that Thomas’ dog Mary Catfish wore diapers at age 18; his mother assured me this was true though I doubt I’ll get the money. I went to bed and didn’t set an alarm. We have all argued about lycanthropy and how it applies to ourselves or doesn’t. Who needs school with all this excitement? Picking up antibiotics now for my sinus infection. Sixteen hours and counting…..

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