This is a public service announcement from your PTA president. This formal designation is a unpaid position available for anyone out there who is seeking notoriety in an unfortunate way. Yes, the role of PTA president could have been yours with one simple phone call. I waited all summer for the call to relieve me of my derelict duty and alas, it never arrived. Therefore, I am waving a white flag and kindly sharing my three rules as your president.

Rule Number One

This one is key, just in case you are already annoyed at me or my slothful ways, let me kindly remind you that I do not receive a salary, health insurance, my choice of teacher, not even a t-shirt for my volunteerism. Last year I did receive a faux tervis tumbler and I use it with pride. I also received a very cool tote from my endearing principal just last week.

Rule Number Two

This rule states that you are never ever allowed to scold people in purely volunteer positions. The lovely people that have all offered to cruise the halls, break the copiers, teach second grade swimming lessons in a cold pool, tie shoes, clean up spilt milk and have their energy sucked dry, are strictly off-limits for criticism.

Rule Number Three

This rule is built upon rule two; unless you want to pitch in then not one word of advice. Not a friendly suggestion, unsolicited assistance, gentle complaint, or passive aggressive question. Not one word.

That’s it. Just three rules. I’m trying. I promise, I am trying. When I send you an annoying email, go ahead and concede defeat. Just sign up to bring something, schlep something, buy something, set up something, or do something. It takes a village and there is no reason to depend on me as chief when we all know teamwork is key. Many hands make light work and if you have a suggestion, I am willing to part the Red Sea to give you a shot at success.