I hate to disappoint the many rabid fans of my father, but he has clearly been on his best behavior though I’ve got a few isms.

1. All the astronauts were from Ohio.

John Glenn & Neil Armstrong, he told us, not once but six times as we watched Hidden Figures.

2. The Wright brothers were from Ohio too, even if people from North Carolina pretend they’re not.

My dad is from Ohio in case you were wondering.

3. My son: I didn’t know the volume could go up to 99.

My dad: They jack it up during commercials.

4. Amos is in the kitty litter again.

I suggested we move it and was met with rolling eyes and hands that flew up as he asked where in the Hell he could possibly move it.

5. I need to watch the news.

What? The rest of us adore Thundermans and Henry Danger.

6. Why do you need my password?

Because I want to drain your bank accounts from the world’s biggest iPad. I just want to go online.

7. The cat’s not used to yelling.

One, my parents have adopted a cat named Diamond and two, my haranguing of children is now forbidden due to said emotional cat.

8. It’s just a love bite.

As the blood drips down my ankle.

9. I need a bunch of diapers.

This should be interesting, I thought and because I couldn’t help myself, I asked why. To soak up the sludge that the broken pool heater dispersed in the now unswimmable pool.

10. Do you remember segregation?

No. I was in high school in Ohio. That was in Cleveland.