Choosing joy means keeping tabs of when it found you and yours. These are the lessons that captured my heart this year and are quite difficult to articulate.

1. This year was the year I realized how much I count on my family. To be surrounded by my cheerleaders, begrudging little ones at times, has been the straw for me as the camel.

2. This year was the year I realized I had a village. It is a village of those from near and far and they have made seeking answers for Amos a possibility in a system I have found is nearly impossible to navigate.

3. This year was the year I realized Amos isn’t going to catch up in the way I once hoped. To read my own stories offers a glimpse of a desperate mother running out of hope but realizing her wishes aren’t the only ones that birth joy.

4. This year was the year I realized that truth has its’ consequences and for some, it has been too much, but a saving grace for me.

5. This year was the year I realized the community of special needs families is the best club I have ever belonged to and its’ membership, though a costly one, propels love in a way I didn’t know existed.

6. This year was the year I realized that I have three older children who love blindly and who, despite their worry, would choose their little brother again and again.

7. This year was the year I realized that writing is my lifeline and though it’s not always easy to read your heart in script, I am better for it.

8. This year was the year I realized that I don’t have much control over what really matters in life and though I give it my best shot, my hands are tied when it comes to real treasure.

9. This year was the year I realized that money can’t buy what I desire the most.

10. This year was the year I realized that strangers are the kindest souls and if you look, you will find the beauty they offer to your own insignificant life.

A happy new year to you and yours. Xo, adrian